Insult Sms
@,@
_/( ‘ )\_
_/”\_
_/( ‘ )\_
_/”\_
pakr lia
Pehchano isey
Bandar
Nahi
Mendak
Nahi
Billi
Nahi
Jani Ye Tere andar Ka wo Keera Hy
Jo Tujhe msg nahi krne detaa.
Sunday, 2 October 2011
Urdu Hindi and English Funny Text Sms Messages 2011
Urdu Hindi And English Funny Text Sms Messages 2011
Sardar ki wife inspecter se!
Mera husband ek hafte pehle aalo
lene gaya tha abhi tak wapis nahi aaya:-(
Mera husband ek hafte pehle aalo
lene gaya tha abhi tak wapis nahi aaya:-(
Inspector bhi sardar tha bola:-
to behan kuch or paka lo:-)
to behan kuch or paka lo:-)
————-
Police: 15
Time Check: 14
Love: 143
Fraud: 420
Muslim: 786
Cigarette: 555
Bear: 500
Mobilink: 300
James Bond: 007
aur
DON:
0300-8075699
Time Check: 14
Love: 143
Fraud: 420
Muslim: 786
Cigarette: 555
Bear: 500
Mobilink: 300
James Bond: 007
aur
DON:
0300-8075699
————-
Sardarji to others:
Did anyone lose money wrapped in a rubber band?
One said, Yes I did
Sardar: Well, it’s your lucky day,
I found the rubberband!
Did anyone lose money wrapped in a rubber band?
One said, Yes I did
Sardar: Well, it’s your lucky day,
I found the rubberband!
Punjabi Funny Sms
Funny Punjabi Sms
Tusi Mere Dil di Dharkan wich VAS gay O!!
VAS gay O G…
…VAS gay O..
Oououoh……
Zra thori side Maro Meri SAA di NALI vich PHAS gye O…
Punjabi Funny Sms
Funny Punjabi Sms
Tusi Mere Dil di Dharkan wich VAS gay O!!
VAS gay O G…
…VAS gay O..
Oououoh……
Zra thori side Maro Meri SAA di NALI vich PHAS gye O…
Bijli Sms
Bjli Sms
A girl to D0CT0R on phone:
mery bhai ko current laga Hay
me kya krun?
Doctor
Ap do nafal shukrany k ada karain
k
ap ki taraf light hey,,!
Garmi Sms
Garmi Sms
Shehri bacha: Papa aaj boht garmi hy.
Papa:Hum aaj hi A/C lagwa len ge.
Pandu bacha:Abba aj kini garmi ey.
Abba: ja kanjra tind karwa k aa.
Latest Funny Sms
Latest Funny Sms
1 Pagal hr wqt bolta rehta tha
“Ghulail bnaoun ga aur Chirya ko maron ga!”
1 din usko Paglon k Doctor k pas ly gaye aur us ka elaj ho gya.
Dr: AB KYA KRO GY?
Pagal: Shadi kron ga, Nokri dhoondon ga, Ghr bsaon ga.
Dr: Very Nice! Phir kya kro gy?
Pagal: Bchchon ko achhy school bhejon ga,
Un ka birthday mnaon ga,
Nekr aur Shirt gift ayegi.
Dr: Gud Gud! Phir?
Pagal: Un ki Nekr sy Elastic nikalon ga,
phir
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Ghulail bnaoun ga aur Chirya
ko maron ga..
Muhaly Ki Bachian
Yunhi soty rahy to kuch b na dekh pao gy
“DOST’
Uth jao k muhaly ki bachian school s a rahi hain.
Funny Sms Cartoon
Funny Cartoon Sms
Zinda rha to tmhara hi sath nibhaoun ga ‘Dosto‘
Bhool jaun To samjh lena k
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Bv mil gyi he.
(-,-) ( ‘.’ )
<///,,/II/.
_!!_ _//_
Chalo begum.:-
Express News Wali Lrki
Muje to Express News Wali lrki sy dar lagta hai “faraz”
Kehti Hai:
“Jo Sab Chupatay Hain, Wo Hum Dikhatay Hain”..
Tauba .. Tauba:
Funny Pathan Messages
Pathan In Computer Exam
Examiner:
“What is Microsoft Excel?”
Pathan: “It is a new brand of Surf Excel to clean the computer :p
Geo pathan.
Examiner:
“What is Microsoft Excel?”
Pathan: “It is a new brand of Surf Excel to clean the computer :p
Geo pathan.
Awam Se Prozor Appeal
Awam Se Prozor Appeal ….
2011 2012 2013 mai shadi karne wale jorey…..
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sirf bijli paida karain, Q K mulk mai bijli ki kami hai, bacho ki nhi:->
Joke of the Century Sms
Joke Of The Century Sms!
Agar next time America main sonaami aya tou, uska zimadar Osaama hoga Q K
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Osaama samundar main Hai..
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Osaama samundar main Hai..
Funny Fact Sms
This Funny fact always happen with me:
Study for one Hour-
No One sees.!
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But pick up mobile just 4 a second,
& Mom/Dad enters d room!
Study for one Hour-
No One sees.!
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But pick up mobile just 4 a second,
& Mom/Dad enters d room!
Sheikh Sms
Shiekh mehman se: thanda peo ge ya garm,
Mehman: dono
Sheikh: begum pani da ik glass freizer viechu te ik glass gezer viechu le a.
Mehman: dono
Sheikh: begum pani da ik glass freizer viechu te ik glass gezer viechu le a.
Dirty Nurse Sms
1 Nurse Ne baba ko 2 injction peeche lgae or 3 dosre mreez k lye tyar krne lga
Baba smja ye b mere lye hain
Baba Nurse se: putar hip pehli wari vekhi oo??? @(,”)@
Veena Malik Sms
Mard Kitna He Dheela Ho
Kuch Bhi Ho Jaey
2 Kaam Lazmi Karta Hai
Subha Uth K
“KHOORAAK“
Ki Talaash
Or
Kaam Se Lout K
“SOORAAKH“
Ki Talaash
(Veena Malik)
Book: PURA LIA TO BAAT BANI.
Chapter: Piyas phir b na bujhi.
Mobilink Jazz Sms
1 sardar ko MOBILINK men operatr ki job mil gyi.Pehle he din call ayi
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“Sir meri JAZZ ki sim block ho gyi hai.”
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Sardar: “Te kanjra Zong di le la…
Best Funny Sms
Kanto bhary Raston pr kon Apka sath dega
Ami/Papa
No
No
Brothr/Sistr
No
Frind/Girlfrind
No
Sirf Or Sirf
Apki
CHAPAL
A SILENT Message BY
Dita mochi
Latest Funny Jokes
Beta: Ammi kya pasand ki shadi karny sy ghar waly naraz ho jate hain?
Maa: Tu yakinan kisi churail k chakar main hoga,
or ye sub tujhy usi daaien ny kaha hoga,
ye aaj ki larkiyan to bus larkon ko phansany main lagi rehti hain,
jahan acha larka dekha shuru ho gayen,
beta in sy bach k rehna ye bohat makkar or meesni hoti hain or inka to khandan bhi….
or ye sub tujhy usi daaien ny kaha hoga,
ye aaj ki larkiyan to bus larkon ko phansany main lagi rehti hain,
jahan acha larka dekha shuru ho gayen,
beta in sy bach k rehna ye bohat makkar or meesni hoti hain or inka to khandan bhi….
Beta: Ammi aisa kuch nahi wo to abbu bta rahy thy k ap dono ki pasand ki shadi thi.
Doctor Nurse Sms
Sardar nurse se:
Agr meri beti ho to kehna FAIL or beta ho to kehna PASS.
Sardar k ghar khusra peda hua.
Nurse:
mubarak ho
Sardar ji apki
SUPLI aai he …
New Style to Propose a Girl
New Style Of Proposing a Girl
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Aap K Paaon Bohat Khubsurat Hæn,
Kya Yehi Khobsurat Paaon Meray Bachon Ki Jannat Ban Saktay Hain..???
Allama Iqbal Sms
Allama Iqbal ne parinde se !
Kya tumhen asmaan se girne ka nahi hai dar ..?
Parinde ne kaha ..!
Iqbal yaar teri mairbani ena na s0chia kr ;
Mobile Sms
Amrica k ik science daan ne kaha hai k rat ko mobile sirhaney k nichay na rakha jaye,
Kyun
K
Rat ko bell bajne se banday ka
.
Traahh nikal jata hai:-D
Ladki Ka Dil Sab Se Ziyada Kab Dukhta Hai
Ek Ladki Ka Dil Sab Se Ziyada Kab Dukhta Hai
?
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Jab wo kisi masi ko apney jesa lawn ka print pehney huey dekhti hai;-).:
hahahaha
Khusra Sms in Urdu or Hindi
1 Khusray Ney Mardana Taqat ka Capsule Khaya Tou Uss k Andar sy Awaz aai
Hum Maazrat Khuwah Hein,
. .
“Aap k System Mein Matlooba Sahoolat Muyasar Nhi..
Honto Se Lagao to Kashish Kaisi Hy
!..Sang-e-Mrmr Se Trasha Gora Badan Ufff..!
!..Nashela Sa Pighalta Shabab uska..!
Honto Se Lagao To Kashish Kaisi Hy..!
Paa G Ye KULFI Chez Hi aisi hy..
GiRL Apny Nabina Boy Friend Se
GiRL Apny Nabina Boy Friend Se,
Kash Tumhari Ankhen Hoti To Tum Mere ‘HUSUN‘
Ko Dekhtey
Boy
Ager Tum Khubsurt Hoti To Kia,
AANKHON WALE TUMHEN MERE LiYE CHORTE?
(‘.’)\ Andha hon
<) ( / bewaqof …
_/ \_ nhi…
<) ( / bewaqof …
_/ \_ nhi…
Rule of Success
“RULE OF SUCCESS”
Apni zindgi mein koi kam krne se pehle hamesha kisi LARKI se mashwara kr lo
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Wo jo mashwra de uska ulta kro kamyabi tmhre Qadam choome ge.
Hoor Ki Tareef
Molvi Sahab Jumme k din HOOR ki tareef bayan kr rahe thay
K
Hoor aesi hogi
Hoor wesi hogi
Jb zyada Josh aya to
phir farmaya
Bas ab ap logo se kya behes krun
Ye jo apne muhalle mein BUTT SAHAB hain
unki bachiyon ko hi dekh len
Qasam se Hoorein hain Hoorein.
Molvi Sahab Sms
Molvi Juma k khutba me Lipstick Lgany Wali Orton Ki Shdeed Muzamat Kr Rha Tha
1Admi Bola”Twadi BV V Landi Ae
Molvi“OhDi Tay Gal Na Kro,OhNu Sajdi V Tay Bari Ae”
A Wonderful Fear Circle
A Wonderful Fear Circle!!
CHOOHA Billi se darta hai
Our
Billi kuttay se
Kutta Bheriye se darta hai
Our
Bheriya Gainday se,
Gainda Cheetay se darta hai
Our
Cheeta Haathi se
Haathi Sher se darta hai
Our
Sher Admi se
Admi BV se darta hai
Our
BV . . . ? ? ? ?
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CHOOHAY se (-;-)
Funny Damad Sms
Dil or Dunya me sirf itna farq hai
k Is Dunya mei bht log rhte hen r Is dil Me Sirf
Meri maa
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Ka “damad” rehta ha!
hahaha.
Sms Book
DoooooooooooR
Se
Dekha
to
‘Books‘
theen….!!!
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To Paas Jane ka to Sawal hi Paida Nahi hota !!!
Veena Malik Jokes
School Ki Ghanti
Ghareeb Ka Darwaza
Aur
Larki Ki “()”
Jab B Bajaogay
To
Bachay Hi Niklengay
(VEENA MALIK)
Shabbir Sms
There was a Girl & a Boy, They Loved each Other,
Girl alwayz Used to Say:
“My heart is alwayz with U, m living without a heart..”
After sum dayz,
Girl said that she can’t marry him bcz hr family disagreed..
The Boy said:
“I need U & Ur family’s Happiness” n agreed 2 b frnds:)
Aftr few monthz,
Girl got married n she ws looking through her gifts of her marriage ceremony ,
She come across a Gift n starts Crying..! 
the Gift was the Boy’s Heart (Real) packd in a Jar..!
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CLIMAX:
Larky ne Suicide kiya ya Murder huwa….????
Kyun k agar Sucide kiya to Heart pack kisne kiya?
ye such bht jald he samny a jaye ga,
q k,
Koi dekhe ya na dekhe , Shabbir to dekhe ga.
Funny Sms Collection
Agar koi ap ko kahay
“Oye INSAN ban”
To
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Aik bar koshish zaroor karna..
Baqi
ALLAH ki marzi..
Funny Advice
ADVISE
Kabhi Kisi Ka Dil Na Toro,
Q
K
Wo har Kisi K Pas Aik Hi Hota Hai.
Haddiyan Toro
Q
K
Woh 206 Hoti Hain…
2,4 tot b jain to kam chal jata hy.
Meera Ka Interview
Journalist meera say: Aap Kitni Parhi Likhi Hain?
.
Meera: Jee Zyaada Nahi
.
Bas Inter-Course Kya Hai
A Love Story
A love Story
“Hina”B.A ki stdent thi
wo apny friend“Ali”se roz baat krti thi
ali U.S.A. chla gya
Pechy Hina mar gai
Hina ki wsiyat k mtabik uska mobil b usk 7 kabar me rkh dya
Jb Ali waps aya to Hina ki mot ka sun kr heran howa
Q k Hina roz phn pr us se bat krti thi
us ne ye molvi ko btaya
Phr wo sb qabrstan gye
Wha ja kr Ali ne Hina ko call ki to Hina ne bt ki
Sb log dar gy
phr molvi ne kha k is se ye sabit hwa k
jazz
k signal hr jga ate hn.
keun k Jazz apna hai.
keun k Jazz apna hai.
Real Love Stories
“Real story”
“Kya pyar krna itna bara gunah hy?
1 Larka or Larki
ek dusre se boht pyar krte they…
Larki k baap ko pta chal gya.
wo guhsse pe qabu na rakh ska or Lrki ko uthwa k le aya or Larki se kha
“Tujhe mein aaj wo saza dunga k ishq krney walon k Liye nishan’e ibrat hoga.
Usne Larki ko zamen pr Lita k bjli se chlne wali aari uski gardan k pas kr k abi chlai hi ti k
Achank..
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LIGHT chali gai
Or
Larki ne naara lgaya
G.O Zardari!
Maa Beta Sms
MAA : Beta kya kar rahe ho..?
BETA : Parh rha hu Maa..
MAA : Excelent ! Kya parh raha hai meri Jaan …?
BETA : apni Jaan k messages,ammi jan 
Kiss Day Sms
Faqeer:
Ek rupay de do
Lady:
Sharam nhi aati itne smart,
khubsurat,
handsome,
nojawan ho k bheek mangte ho!
Faqeer:
Acha darling phir ek kiss hi de do
Ready Movie Sms
Pani Me Gira Rumal To Rumal Gila Hai..
Asman Me Dekha To Asman B Nila Hai…
Muhabat to Sub Krte Hai Par,,,
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Me KarU to Saala Character DHeela Hai. . !
Larki Ka Number
: Jee bhar k ronay do aaj mujhay
=YAROO=
Ek hi Larki Ka number tha MOLVI ki baaton main aa k delete Kar diya.
Funny Excuses
Principal:
Y r u late…?
All ur classfellows came to class in time…!
Student:
Group bana ker tou kutte ate hain Sir…!
Sher hmesha akela ata hai
Main Tumhare Bachche Ki Maa Banne Wali Hoon
Cheenti aur Hathi k kaan me kuch kaha or Hathi be-hosh hogya.
Btao kya kaha hoga?
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Main tumhare bachche ki maa banne wali hoon…
Spider Man Sms
Agr kbi Spider Man LAHORE Aa Jae,
Tou Subha TV Channels Pr Sb Se Pehle Kya News Hogi?
?
Spider Man MOCHI gate ßijli Ki Taron Mein Phas K Halaak…
Thekedar Ka Beta
THEKEDAR Ka Beta:
Papa Mujhe Ek Bhai Aur Chahiye Aaj Aur Abhi
Papa:
Beta is Kaam me 9 Mahenay Lagtay hain
BETA:
Papa Aap to THAKEDAR ho
20,25 mazdoor Laga do.
Funny Song Sms
Black pure Black
My Black is sweet heart,,
Get out the white,,
I, myslf is the cable of silverBlack pure Black !
Kuch samjh aayi??English aapko samjh aa b kesy skti hy!!
To
Phir samjho
Kala shah kala
Mara kala ha dildar
Goryan nu paraaa karo
Main, aap tilly di taar
kala shah kala!:D 
7 Cheezein Jab Khatam Ho Jati Hain
7 Cheezein Jab Khatam Ho Jati Hain Tu Buht Takleef Hoti Hai..
1- PYAR
2- Rishta
3- School Life
4- Dosti
5- Paise
6- Sms Package
Aur
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7- Lote Mein Pani..!
Scary Story
On a rainy day an old man was standng wit a buk for sale.
He sold it 2 a man 4 Rs.3000 nd said DONT OPEN LAST PAGE OF THE BOOK,
He read all d pages wit gr8 fear bt nt d last page.
1 day Out of his fear he opnd d last page.
den he was shocked 2 see M.R.P :Rs.15/-
He sold it 2 a man 4 Rs.3000 nd said DONT OPEN LAST PAGE OF THE BOOK,
He read all d pages wit gr8 fear bt nt d last page.
1 day Out of his fear he opnd d last page.
den he was shocked 2 see M.R.P :Rs.15/-
Aqal Bari Ya Bhains
1 Pathan Se kisi Ne Pucha: Aqal Bari Ya Bhains.?
Pathan thori Dair Sochnay k Baad:
Hum ko Pagal Mat Samjho,
Pehlay 2no ki Date Of Birth Batao…
Latest Jokes
Hmesha,
Apne asulon pr chalo,
Apne andaz se paish ao,
Sirf wo kro jo dil kahe
Or phir dekhna,
1 din sari dunia kahy gi
“ae chawal kisay di nai manda“:-)
Pappu Hone K Faidy
PAPU hony k faidy…
1- Papu ko Hmesha Driver k sath wali seat milti hai
2- Papu ko pathan free chezain daitay hain
3- Papu ko peshawar mein jga jaga 500 ka note gira hua milta hai
4- Papu ko her koi cycle k dandy per bethata hai
5- Papu baghair perhai k pass ho jata hai
6- Papu ko larkian or auntyan bagair poche kiss kar laiti hain.
7. papu kisi ko sms nhi karta sab papu ko karte hain.
Q oye papu?
Story of MATH
Story of MATH
Zror read kerna
Aj se 300 years pehlay MATH bohat masoom or piyari thi .
Kia howa kuch badmash students ne MATH ko bohat maara,
yahan tak k Math ki akhri Sans thi or wo studnts se hmesha k lea nraz ho gae,
or marty marty sb studnts ko bad Dua de gae
Or ye keh kr is dunia se chali gae k me to ja rhi ho lekn
MATHS
M=Mri
A=Atma
T=Tumhy
H=Hmesha
S=Sataye gi
Aj b math ki atma bhtak rhi hy or sary studnts ko sta rhi hy or hmesha stati rhy gi.
Zror read kerna
Aj se 300 years pehlay MATH bohat masoom or piyari thi .
Kia howa kuch badmash students ne MATH ko bohat maara,
yahan tak k Math ki akhri Sans thi or wo studnts se hmesha k lea nraz ho gae,
or marty marty sb studnts ko bad Dua de gae
Or ye keh kr is dunia se chali gae k me to ja rhi ho lekn
MATHS
M=Mri
A=Atma
T=Tumhy
H=Hmesha
S=Sataye gi
Aj b math ki atma bhtak rhi hy or sary studnts ko sta rhi hy or hmesha stati rhy gi.
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